What undiagnosed AuDHD can look like at secondary school

Those of us in the know understand that undiagnosed AuDHD looks different in each individual child.

And that's the issue. Even though it contradicts the very idea of neurodivergence, too often schools respond with a stereotyped checklist of how ADHD, autism and the many other neurodevelopmental conditions look, alongside other life experiences such as bereavement, being a young carer or being in care.

I get it. It's something to latch on to, when the reality is that understanding everything every child in a classroom might be experiencing is impossible. And in my book, it's unnecessary. The answer, which I've shared in person, in training, on podcasts and in articles, is far simpler.

Be open to other life experiences, even those that seem unfathomable to you.

An autistic child may experience the world in a totally different way to their peers or any teacher, but that doesn't make it untrue or wrong. You may not, with all the goodwill in the world, understand that perspective. That's fine. You can still respect it, acknowledge it, listen to it and respond to it.

You don't need to second-guess how a child feels and what they need. Be open, humble and respectful. Ask, and listen. So many times, the child will tell you.

I was an able student. My difficulties didn't include exclusions or detentions. I did fairly well at school. I was a good girl. Compliant. And unhappy. I disrupted my own and others' learning, but I got away with it. In so many ways, I was lucky.

I don't speak for the experience of any child. I speak for their individuality, and their need to be seen and heard, and to understand and value themselves.

Working in a school?

I share my lived experience and 20 years in SEN with schools through training, talks and coaching, to help staff understand the invisible world of neurodivergent children.